Sunday, April 29, 2012

The Power of Pissed Off

I had coffee with two of my friends at a local community cafe with excessive child friendly benefits simple fare and OK coffee.  One of my girls is a married teacher with two beautiful children and the other a happily separated freight forwarder with two children also.

With birthdays aplenty, naturally the conversation was flowing towards turning forty and the despair that seems to be so common in approaching such an age.  I shared my recent experience with a female family member whose fortieth I had recently attended and who had approach our cocktail table in her figure hugging black lace dress.  A dress that wouldn't look so good on a majority of women of any age, that alone on their fortieth birthday.

She sashayed toward our cocktail table where my Aunt, cousin and Uncle stood, where when she arrived her shoulders slumped forward, her head hung down and she raised her eyes while sipping her drink.  "I'm depressed"...
"Really?" I asked.
"Yes.  Awwwwww.  I think it's got more to do with I haven't achieved anything that I thought I would have by this age you know".

And that's what it comes down to doesn't it?  By having so many dreams visions and high expectations of ourself, we kind of set ourselves up for failure and disappointment if we haven't ticked all those boxes by age twenty, thirty or forty.  I think we always need to remind ourselves though, life is unpredictable, the boxes we are meant to tick, are written by ourselves.  So when you feel the looming anniversary of one of your decades of birth.... do your self a favour, grab that mental list look at it,  size it up and then imagine yourself an eraser, some white out and a lighter and take to it with a gusto that makes you feel alive.

Then write a new list that includes
  1. I shall say 'yes' and 'no' at my own discretion.
  2. If someone wants you to jump out of a plane....see #1
  3. If someone wants to marry you....see #1
  4. I shall create my 'own' life in a way that fulfils me spiritually, mentally and physically and honours my personal truth without reference to anyone else's opinion of 'who they thought I was'.
  5. And yes I shall wear this dress/skirt if I want to...I'm grown dammit!!
And then march forward with your head held high, as no ones life has been a walk in the park, there has been hardship and you are still standing, sitting or riding on a mobility scooter through your life.  You have earned every day, every moment and every sunrise and every muffin top.  

So every time that you feel pissed off at being whatever stage of life you are, use that, use it to change what you don't like about your life, source it as one of those brief moments of motivation and seize that power in your pissed off. (and if you don't their be another opportunity in twelve months time)

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