Tuesday, January 31, 2012

Oh Lord I'm Tired...

You know when you are so tired that all you want to do is take off your bra, fall into your bed and only wake up when your body is satisfied, but you have so much to do that you know you'll only regret it.

I am really tired.  Tired of walking.  Tired of doing it all by myself.  Tired of having no money.  Tired of public transport.  Tired of washing up... and the list continues.

Good lord, I've spent about four hours today either waiting for or on buses - what's the meaning in this...I'm still searching.

There are moments (as with everyones life) that I see really clearly,  I have these two beautiful girls who I am wholly responsible for, they have to come first with me.  Yet the drive to fulfil my own needs is still running strong in my spirit.

I am alone.  Not in spirit but in actuality.  And I start to wonder... what happened to all the friends that I had hanging out of my back pocket, no matter which outfit I decided to put on.  And then most of them just went away, as if they were nothing but a mirage.  I know all the answers here, but it is an interesting ponderance.

...I guess all will be revealed in due time - and in the meantime I will just TRUST.

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