tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-73239168818191251012024-02-02T18:37:01.646+11:00Mother Dearestwords of motherly wisdom from a young woman with increasingly no ideaKryshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15194625139614254945noreply@blogger.comBlogger17125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7323916881819125101.post-22147299323367408732014-01-02T10:42:00.001+11:002014-01-02T10:47:50.322+11:00New Lines in the Sand<br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;">There are always fireworks</span></h4>
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It's funny how although it's just another day, the fact that another year has ticked over holds so much significance and promise. No matter how sceptical or sullen we have become, there is either that feeling of a new opportunity to make good, or alternatively a new opportunity for impending doom... maybe a little of both.</div>
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For myself the year passing has fulfilled its purpose; many purposes in fact. The destruction that took place in my life almost five years ago now continued to slowly fade into the background as the spiritual determination and vision that I had for myself and my little family baby steps itself to fruition, like a forest coming back from wildfire, the green foliage is ever more contrasting against the charcoaled blackness. And with it, my belief in the possibilities of life and the universal way grows in strength and intent. </div>
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For me this life is about experience and learning through that, there is listening and witnessing to what others have experienced and learnt... this year has been filled with those moments too. And to all those people who have been part of that, I thank you, my encounters with you have had value, even the negative ones. Without knowing it, you all are contributing to a universal encyclopaedia where nothing ever goes to waste.</div>
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In this New Year I already see the tasks spreading out before me, and I will do the work whether I want to or not... Life has a way of pushing us where we need to go, as I get older, I'm just learning to stop resisting... its easier that way.</div>
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One amazing but simple thing that I realised this year past is that in general we ignore our own needs. Let me be very clear, not 'wants', 'needs'. There is a huge difference between the two, but in ourselves quite often we are not cognisant of that. The main reason for that is social engineering, true capitalist form to make us purchase stuff to intensify and multiply our wants and ignore our needs. In fact, most of us don't even know what we need. We never take the time, create the space to listen to ourselves and investigate what we really need. Therefore we feel this constant ache, constant fever and underlying un-fulfillment that we try and solve daily, without ever taking the time to peel back the layers and find out what that need or many needs 'actually' is.</div>
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So maybe thats it? Maybe we start this year by giving ourselves some time, and some space to get in touch with ourselves whether it be five minutes in our garden alone, or fifteen minutes on the beach while our partner takes the kids to get ice cream, to just listen to ourselves and to not judge, not complain... just to be with ourselves and to stop treading water for just a moment, 'cos if we only stop, we can stand strong on the sand.... at least until the next wave comes anyway.</div>
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Love x</div>
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Kryshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15194625139614254945noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7323916881819125101.post-77142264898491357462013-01-03T00:44:00.001+11:002013-01-03T00:58:15.839+11:00Everything Good In Its Time<br />
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As I welcome the hallmark of another year passing I can confess that yes I too fall victim to the self judgement, departmentalisation, and incessant expectations of the new year. Incessant self judgement as I take mental note of the expectations of yesteryear that have STILL not had their boxes ticked.<br />
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This is where I stop for a minute and give my self a swift mental slap (only because really doing it would hurt... And look weird) and tell myself to wake up to myself....( are u getting this).<br />
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Life in itself is really hard, there are constant challenges, discomforts, dreams and nightmares that fill our days without our conscious efforts to put them there. My life in reality will happen whether I try or not, whether I set huge expectations out there to be met or missed or not. I'm not saying that having dreams or goals is not a mildly worthwhile activity... But I guess what I am saying is to ease up on yourself. Be kind to yourself. If you want to be smaller, or quit smoking, or finish that degree, I'm sure you will get there, but any amount of self loathing, judgement or self degradation is surely not going to help you on your way... In fact it probably went a long way to creating the challenge you're facing in the first place.<br />
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On the passing of this New Year's Eve 2013, I didn't get all caught up in the usual fanfare of the event (although that can be SO fun too), I did just take a moment to be still and see the good things around me. My best friends eyes were glowing as he lit the kids sparklers and they squealed in mixed delight and fear as they held the burning excitement in their hands. I watched our kids derive an extreme of joy from every moment, bolting out the front and up the hill as soon as they heard the pop from any firework, afraid they would miss a spark and dancing in the darkened garage adorned from head to toe in glow sticks and bracelets.<br />
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I starred up into the starry sky from my friends hammock, champagne and strawberries in hand, cheesecake, eaton mess and bannoffee pie in the bowl in my lap with the laughter of my friends and our children melding into my perfect moment and I just let myself be.<br />
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So that is my prayer and blessing for you this New Year and everyday that follows it... <br />
May you have the courage and the joy of just being, <br />
may you experience the peace and the acceptance that flows from that. May your journey be as it should, <br />
and more importantly may your eyes light up when are in the presence of those you love, <br />
and them you.<br />
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My dreams needs and wants seem endless as I'm sure yours do too, but I never loose sight of the fact that all the physical and worldly accomplishments in this universe mean nothing if I'm not ok. So I take care of me first... And in taking care of me I'm taking care of those around me. Kind of like lighting sparklers, I can't light anyone else's if I don't light my own first (well unless I have a lighter?..... Well u know what I mean!) So this year I'm not resolving I'm just doing. Doing what is in this moment, because its all I can do, and all I'm meant to be doing. I have pretty clear ideas about the things I'd like to do in my life... But the things that are topping my list and I think have been for a long time now is creating beautiful things that inspire, spending quality time with my fellow man, investing in my friends and worthy family, laughing till it hurts and loving without a safety net.<br />
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Focussing on what is topping my priority list and what brings me joy brings balance to my life and everything comes into sharper focus. The bad things fade as just learning moment that helped define me. So try it! Don't resolve just do it now, have the thought about what tops your priority list so when your judgementalist comes in to check off that list for 2013, you tell her/him to take a back seat as the front one's already taken.<br />
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Love x<br />
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- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad<br />
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Location:<a href="http://maps.google.com/maps?q=My%20bedroom.%20&z=10">My bedroom. </a></div>
Kryshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15194625139614254945noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7323916881819125101.post-72736807426982662672012-05-30T17:16:00.001+10:002012-06-06T09:47:02.399+10:00The Romance of Adolescent Bliss<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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It's so funny to watch young couples now.<br />
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They are so unaware of what a beautiful and simple space they are in.<br />
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Whether it's simply lust, simply infatuation, or a simple love accented by both the before, they are unaware of how beautiful and adventurous that moment in life is.<br />
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The moment when touching fingers causes a lightning strike of electricity to flash through your awakening body. The moment you kiss in a shy but eager fashion, your tongues touching for the first time in an unsure but fire filled movement. And once the rhythm is set you become satisfied or too frightened to go further so you kiss for hours!<br />
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The moment your dream girl sits on your lap and you're unable to contain your physical excitement; she feels it too but doesn't quite know how to take it from there.<br />
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Those moments filled with fear, pain, lust, love, heat and fire, uncertainty, desperation and delight. If we only knew at the time just to sit in those moments and to embrace them with abandon (although I'm sure some of us did...me included). That in a few short years our lives would be increasingly less simple, that money, children and 'knowing better' would destroy or at least taint our adolescent pursuit of pleasure and love.<br />
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Not that we don't need it anymore, we just won't give ourselves the permission to occasionally act with such reckless abandon. Maybe 'cos our brains have taken the whole consequences thing and run with it. (Party poopers).<br />
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I like to think that we have something to learn from these young lovers. How much fun would it be to go out and pash your husband disrespectfully in a public place (ensuring that you get dirty looks from grandmas!) or hold hands and make stupid eyes at each other in the supermarket and make people think "why don't they just get a room".<br />
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Our love(s) should never stop being an adventure, and if it has... be a hero and change it!<br />
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Single? Pashing some random in the nightclub mightn't be the classiest move, but gosh it is naughty and fun - makes you feel like your alive and nasty!<br />
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So don't forget to occasionally pay homage to the adolescent inside you, she/he is still there waiting for that fire to be lit, for that bit to be groped.... And just thank God...after all these years at least you know what to do with it now (I hope).Kryshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15194625139614254945noreply@blogger.com01 George St, Sydney NSW 2000, Australia-33.873651 151.2068896-33.8802425 151.1970191 -33.8670595 151.21676010000002tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7323916881819125101.post-9053039666663101352012-05-04T16:31:00.000+10:002012-05-04T16:31:06.164+10:00I'm Not that Evolved After All<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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Most days I feel pretty advanced and in touch with my inner self, I feel like I treat other people as I would treat myself and that honesty has found its home with me. Egotistical??? Not at all, just honest with my strengths and weaknesses. And most of all I feel like I'm a really good friend. I don't claim to be a good friend to many, but those to whom I claim the title, I feel like I give them love and loyalty for real.<br />
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And then I prove myself wrong...<br />
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In a move unthinking in a place of selfishness and self satisfaction I unthinkingly abandon all my 'conscious action' and hold back information that could effect my 'friend' for the rest of their life.<br />
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I now continue on still sitting in a place of shock and disgust at my OWN behaviour. And amazed at the way I just 'didn't' think. Any excuse that my brain comes up with is just BS to me at one level, cos what I did is just not OK. Not with the person I have hurt and even more so not with me. <br />
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Now here I am contending with a constant knot in my gut, with constant oscillating in my thought process "Oh my Gosh, how could I do that to someone"<br />
"Well I can't be measured in entirety by my wrongs"<br />
"Oh my Lord, how self obsessed are you?"<br />
"Is this person ever going to forgive me?"<br />
"Even if they do, how am I going to forgive myself?"<br />
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And then I have to deal with the fact that I have lost a good friend and I am entirely to blame...<br />
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As for forgiveness???<br />
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That is out of my control, I feel like I am worth forgiving, that I truly do.... What that looks like I do not know, but as in a movie that I can't remember...I'm trying to get back in the nook.<br />
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And I miss my friend everyday.Kryshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15194625139614254945noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7323916881819125101.post-803087633248844362012-04-29T17:22:00.000+10:002012-05-05T07:27:13.412+10:00The Power of Pissed OffI had coffee with two of my friends at a local community cafe with excessive child friendly benefits simple fare and OK coffee. One of my girls is a married teacher with two beautiful children and the other a happily separated freight forwarder with two children also.<br />
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With birthdays aplenty, naturally the conversation was flowing towards turning forty and the despair that seems to be so common in approaching such an age. I shared my recent experience with a female family member whose fortieth I had recently attended and who had approach our cocktail table in her figure hugging black lace dress. A dress that wouldn't look so good on a majority of women of any age, that alone on their fortieth birthday.</div>
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She sashayed toward our cocktail table where my Aunt, cousin and Uncle stood, where when she arrived her shoulders slumped forward, her head hung down and she raised her eyes while sipping her drink. "I'm depressed"...</div>
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"Really?" I asked.</div>
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"Yes. Awwwwww. I think it's got more to do with I haven't achieved anything that I thought I would have by this age you know".</div>
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And that's what it comes down to doesn't it? By having so many dreams visions and high expectations of ourself, we kind of set ourselves up for failure and disappointment if we haven't ticked all those boxes by age twenty, thirty or forty. I think we always need to remind ourselves though, life is unpredictable, the boxes we are meant to tick, are written by ourselves. So when you feel the looming anniversary of one of your decades of birth.... do your self a favour, grab that mental list look at it, size it up and then imagine yourself an eraser, some white out and a lighter and take to it with a gusto that makes you feel alive.</div>
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Then write a new list that includes</div>
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<li>I shall say 'yes' and 'no' at my own discretion.</li>
<li>If someone wants you to jump out of a plane....see #1</li>
<li>If someone wants to marry you....see #1</li>
<li>I shall create my 'own' life in a way that fulfils me spiritually, mentally and physically and honours my personal truth without reference to anyone else's opinion of 'who they thought I was'.</li>
<li>And yes I shall wear this dress/skirt if I want to...I'm grown dammit!!</li>
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And then march forward with your head held high, as no ones life has been a walk in the park, there has been hardship and you are still standing, sitting or riding on a mobility scooter through your life. You have earned every day, every moment and every sunrise and every muffin top. </div>
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So every time that you feel pissed off at being whatever stage of life you are, use that, use it to change what you don't like about your life, source it as one of those brief moments of motivation and seize that power in your pissed off. (and if you don't their be another opportunity in twelve months time)</div>
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<br /></div>Kryshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15194625139614254945noreply@blogger.com0Sydney NSW, Australia-33.873651 151.2068896-33.8868345 151.1871486 -33.860467500000006 151.22663060000002tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7323916881819125101.post-41360353440251248972012-02-20T08:15:00.001+11:002012-02-20T08:44:03.805+11:00Honor in Identification<br />
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Just now a older lady (I mean only 50/60yrs) got on the bus. I watched her in passing noticing her neat but 'messed up' hair. It obviously had a relaxer some time ago, and not any time since as her nappy locks were peeking out from beneath her roughly shorn unstyle.<br />
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From the back I quickly identified her as some kind of African extraction, at which I felt instant kinship, or connection.<br />
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As she turned to walk to a seat her eyes locked on mine momentarily and she stretched out her hand, I stretched out mine and firmly shook it, as we both smiled then the lady walked to the rear of the bus and took a seat.<br />
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Two young caucasian men were sitting near by and one remarked "did you see that woman she just shook her hand....?"<br />
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I felt the pride swell in my chest, and sat back and observed how honored and special I feel to be part of the brotherhood and sisterhood. Their is a type of kinship that seems to envelope us all no matter on which continent we reside. Whether its a nod of the head, a private smile, a meeting of eyes, dap or a hand shake - there is the acknowledgement that I am connected to you my brother or sister. <br />
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I know there are a million other conversations that stem from this one comment, but for now I'm just going to leave it at this shared moment and how egotistically or not I'm SO happy that I am part of this tree and Black is part of my journey this time round.<br />
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Love x<br />
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- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone<br />
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Location:<a href="http://maps.google.com/maps?q=On%20the%20bus,%20rainy%20day&z=10">On the bus, rainy day</a></div>Kryshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15194625139614254945noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7323916881819125101.post-33670582787865953112012-01-31T22:38:00.000+11:002012-01-31T23:16:15.645+11:00Oh Lord I'm Tired...You know when you are so tired that all you want to do is take off your bra, fall into your bed and only wake up when your body is satisfied, but you have so much to do that you know you'll only regret it.<br />
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I am really tired. Tired of walking. Tired of doing it all by myself. Tired of having no money. Tired of public transport. Tired of washing up... and the list continues.<br />
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Good lord, I've spent about four hours today either waiting for or on buses - what's the meaning in this...I'm still searching.<br />
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There are moments (as with everyones life) that I see really clearly, I have these two beautiful girls who I am wholly responsible for, they have to come first with me. Yet the drive to fulfil my own needs is still running strong in my spirit.<br />
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I am alone. Not in spirit but in actuality. And I start to wonder... what happened to all the friends that I had hanging out of my back pocket, no matter which outfit I decided to put on. And then most of them just went away, as if they were nothing but a mirage. I know all the answers here, but it is an interesting ponderance.<br />
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...I guess all will be revealed in due time - and in the meantime I will just TRUST.Kryshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15194625139614254945noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7323916881819125101.post-52083152802934215542012-01-13T09:31:00.000+11:002012-01-14T01:01:47.125+11:00Sisters From Another MotherFamily are a body of souls that we choose to gather around us, they are not as many choose to think, something that we were born into and cannot get away from. A fact that is demonstrated millions of times each year when people simply walk away from their 'family's' world.<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Ms C, Ms H, Ms J, Ms M, Ms N all drunk from fruit juice and crepes</td></tr>
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The family that I choose to belong, is composed in part of many astounding, beyond beautiful and powerful women who, with all there bumbling through life, manage to sit in the centre of their good with the nobility and wisdom of a Queen. <br />
<br />
We come from all across the world, in many varied colours, cultures and beliefs to meet and simply 'Be'. And today in the midst of my chaos I sat, and I was... I was engaged, I was praised, I was awed and I was entertained - all within the space of maybe two hours of which time passed without being noticed. That's what joyous people do, pass the time without effort or tension.<br />
<br />
What did you do you may ask?? (or not - but I'll tell anyway, create a new tab if can't stand the tone of the post), just went to coffee with friends, nothing AMAZING...and yet it was. It is every time it happens, I'm sure part of it is because it is so seldom, but it is also because I <u>feel</u> these women in a sister to sister way.<br />
<br />
It struck me during my post event pondering, during my 20/20 hindsight moments, while wrestling with my children during the almost two hour ride home; that the small table of us was like a diorama of the evolutionary scale of the 30 something woman... or maybe all women.<br />
<br />
We have me... bitter and twisted (well not really but I do have my moments of wishing he would die-Die-DIE!!) single mother of two after a 12 year relationship that elevated into Domestic Violence during the final death throes of the relationship.<br />
<br />
We have J - gorgeous new Momma, just enjoying (and not) those first few weeks of being the goddess and sacred cow for one of Gods latest creations. Her relationship heaving under the pressure that only a little innocent can bring, but determined to pursue each day in love and understanding (conditional on the amount of sleep in the night preceding)<br />
<br />
And we have Ms M - Beautiful 30 something, down home girl with the carriage of nobility and the swagger of a Heterosexual miseducated blackman with a Hip Hop addiction who's been bustin rhymes in jail for the last 15yrs; married for two years to a man she truly loves (really... even when she's MAD FRUSTRATED). Baby talk is now on the table given there's stability in the relationship and they both really want to start a family 'she's ready'....LOFL (no body's really ready, don't let the Huggies ads fool ya). Smooth sailing as soon as they can find a free night (morning, dressing room) and schedule it in. <br />
<br />
I love the evolution! It really is something to behold, especially when ten years ago we were all in hot pants at Goodbar busting a rhyme and a move. Yay for growth...<br />
<br />
<b>So when you get a moment</b>, i<b>f you too are sitting on a city platform playing go fish with the mini cards from a Christmas Bon Bon waiting for the signal failure to clear, just take a look around you, any moment of any day and consciously choose for the people in your life to be there, ask yourself - who is family to you? And what kinky exciting human beings are you connected too and yet you've never consciously given them their worth and felt the love that vibrates under your sarcastic comments about the weird guy that just took your order at the pizza bar and your mutual agreement that okra feels like snot on the inside.</b><br />
<b><br /></b><br />
PS...And if you're wondering when I got time to write this much exhilarating passage... I didn't do the washing up.Kryshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15194625139614254945noreply@blogger.com0Campbelltown NSW 2560, Australia-34.0677741 150.8131919-34.094081100000004 150.7737099 -34.0414671 150.85267389999998tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7323916881819125101.post-41241170215930519652012-01-01T02:28:00.000+11:002012-01-02T00:50:14.224+11:00It's Official - Happy 2012!!Warning unusually sentimental!!<br />
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<br />
As I take up my usual New Years position, a glass of bubbly, a box of high quality Belgian chocolates and I toast in the New Year, this year though, unlike many others, I have no friends with me to share my bubbly and chocolate. Life in the past year has made changes for them too - as it should.<br />
<br />
So instead of my one or two friends I'm taking the time to speak to the great world made of spirits and possibilities and I have yet to discover...<br />
<br />
To my darling J, my sister girl who used to drop by my Bondi apartment after whatever gig she had that night (New Years is a good earner) and sit on my kitchen bench and speak tired philosophy with me. I know you're staring into the face of your new life... I'll see you with Erykah baby.<br />
<br />
To Ra, who used to just pop over to my house with a moments notice, give me a kiss and squeeze me real tight... where are you babe?<br />
<br />
To D, I know our time is done, but thanks for the champas it really is fulfilling its duty right now. I don't know why, but one day I will.<br />
<br />
I make it a habit not to make resolutions as I believe that whatever you resolve to do, you should do any day of the year.<br />
<br />
But, I do have hopes for the year just begun. So let us pray....<br />
<br />
Thank you for letting me live this long, everyday is a blessing, even when it doesn't feel like it and so I feel the joy in my soul of what greater honour it was, for me to come here and have this experience.<br />
<br />
Ease their pain; there is no reason on this earth why people should go hungry and Americans should have Walmart. Food isn't just for some people. it's for everybody, so help us to require of people that there be justice in their countries. Not one person should be starving if I can still buy a cheese burger. Tell us how to stop the starvation...<br />
<br />
(fell asleep here) 3am was my bed time...<br />
<br />
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<br />Kryshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15194625139614254945noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7323916881819125101.post-29046190040058496112011-12-02T14:07:00.001+11:002011-12-02T14:48:17.064+11:00One Step CloserAfter a manic morning of fights about "put your pants on" and "how many times do I have to tell you the same thing?!" I dropped my whirling dervish at preschool and took the little one (2) with me to the Parklands where I was meeting my lovely ladies. I call them my lovely ladies because they are.<br />
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About four months ago I joined a dance group. Not because it was a good dance group, more because I am a dancer who has not danced in more than a year and I, my body and my ego suffer because of it. So I joined the dance group at the Benevolent Society where they run free activities for women and supply childcare.<br />
<br />
There I have met a lovely group of women of which I am the youngest by a good twenty years at the very least. None of them are or have been professional dancers and yet in dance they find a soul satisfaction. As with every other experience in my life, the lessons are many and not obvious at the outset, but they reveal themselves through natural attrition.<br />
<br />
In the case of these lovely ladies the lessons have been this. Through over fifteen years I have attended and ran adult dance classes. The adult dance class tends to be a very pressurised situation, with a high amount of expectation and judgement placed on the self, others and the class. With ideas hot in participants minds like, "I'm going to be a dancer" or "this is how I'm going to get fit", "I'm so unco' I can't get these moves" or "everyone is looking at me and laughing", the disturbed internal voices gather an invisible fever pitch that is quite honestly exhausting and sometimes hard to ignore. Immediately through my new experience of dance with the older woman - lovely ladies - I noticed the absence of this energy which was replaced with a calm and acceptance.<br />
<br />
Over several classes I just sat back and observed, the gentle approach to getting the moves, the attitude of the teacher who praised her willing students for just taking part. I concluded the difference between the younger and older woman who dances is this. The younger woman tends to be outside of herself, not really experiencing the dance, but more concerned with how she looks, how she's performing and how other people are perceiving her. Whereas the older participant (50+) was more internal in her motivation, she was clearly dancing for herself in every way, the other concerns where not non-existant, but they were passing thoughts rather than real concerns. <br />
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It became really clear to me that this was ideal, to truly dance for yourself, with no concern for anything outside of yourself.<br />
<br />
So this morning as we danced in the park and were only briefly glanced at by passersby, I lifted up my arms and embraced the sun filled sky and I was present. Present as my arms reached towards the sun, present as my balanced wobbled on the uneven grass beneath my sandals, and present as I smiled at my angel baby who patience watched her mother dance from a nearby stroller.<br />
<br />
So it is funny the paths I walk and the moments I take, and the wry smile that crosses my face as I dance to funky town with my lovely older ladies with tinsel in their hair. I remember bigger stages and thinner dancers who were no more talented or beautiful but ever so more self conscious than these. And I know with a certainty who was truly happy in that moment, and what letting go it took to get that way.Kryshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15194625139614254945noreply@blogger.com0Sydney NSW, Australia-33.873651 151.2068896-33.8868345 151.1871486 -33.860467500000006 151.22663060000002tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7323916881819125101.post-41999541786152675502011-07-15T19:46:00.002+10:002011-07-18T01:02:25.138+10:00The moments in between<a href="https://picasaweb.google.com/100710800854010243667/OdeToTheTimTamSlam?authkey=Gv1sRgCKr-itqYysHQUA#5629513176542604770"><img align="left" border="0" height="210" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEifRiRu18epDZDWjilmqasMjnOL3MPWs55nw6zQqz-QD5Bm5iwEzyUEnMXX3jcWmbTRmKQQn4ZrQNOkpm84AAz70pcuAquQAFmqwI5c_8ZaWzvecNUaKporhRfbVpJfD96Y42q9sJXl9Aw/s288/0.jpg" style="margin: 5px;" width="281" /></a><br />
My grandfather celebrated his 90th birthday yesterday. A momentous day; we had planned a lovely quiet luncheon at the local rowing club on the river, but instead I found myself huddled over his large vulnerable figure as he lay oddly huddled to one side in the hospital bed. <br />
<br />
I had got the "guess what happened?" phone call this morning as I was getting ready to leave. It was my aunt telling me that my pop had had a fall and they think he may have broken his wrist.<br />
<br />
"how are you pop?"<br />
"awww terrible chris, awful".<br />
My pop a male and therefore general over reactant to pain, winces. This time it's extra hard, and keeps on getting harder as Alzheimer disease tightens it's grip on his sanity. Every couple of minutes he's not sure why he's in pain, where he is, or who all these people are. He can't make out unfamiliar shapes in his broken eyes that fell victim to macular degeneration some years ago, nothing he sees makes sense, but he still tries to.<br />
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Happy birthday pop! A wry smile brushes across his lips... Yeah real happy. <br />
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My uncles and aunts passed through one by one , while I take turns with my younger cousin chasing my youngest daughter up and down the hospital corridor.<br />
<br />
It's funny, these times are the nothingness of life, and yet in the scheme of things, they are what family is about, they are when love fills in the gaps.<br />
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- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhoneKryshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15194625139614254945noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7323916881819125101.post-64757573496850925352011-06-10T13:38:00.000+10:002011-06-10T13:38:37.869+10:00Playgroup...Hello!I had the most pleasant experience this morning and I thought I would share the love. Firstly update...(seem it's been like 100yrs since I posted last). This is the abridged version.<br />
<br />
<ul><li>Relationship turns verbally and physically violent</li>
<li>Counselling which works, just not the way I thought it would.</li>
<li>I leave with child and 3 mths pregnant</li>
<li>Go O'seas</li>
<li>Come Back, have baby</li>
<li>Living with Mother</li>
<li>More Counselling</li>
</ul><br />
Present day:<br />
Single Mother of two, living with mother, going to counselling and parenting her booty off!! (Oh and still studying for degree).<br />
<br />
THATS IT.<br />
<br />
Anyway back to the pleasant experience. I've been here for almost two years and have been looking at this child friendly cafe from the outside looking in for a long time now, so I heard there was playgroups there and kept meaning to drop in. So today I went to the playgroup (with child of course).<br />
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It was lovely, good coffee, lovely people, safe and secure setup with a lovely little free morning tea of fruit and cake for the kids. I was really chuffed. So here's the love.<br />
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The Playgroup is run by Uniting Care Burnside.<br />
Location: Yummy Cafe, 80 Woodhouse Drive (Cnr of Woodhouse and Copperfield) Ambarvale<br />
Time: Friday Mornings, 10am-12pm<br />
<br />
They also have a speech therapist in attendence every second week and for more info contact Margaret at North Campbelltown Family Centre on 87963222<br />
<br />
They have other locations and days so call for more info. My 18mth old had a ball!!Kryshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15194625139614254945noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7323916881819125101.post-49149279981599747312008-11-18T22:41:00.003+11:002008-11-18T22:53:11.422+11:00Relationship's in the Toilet - now what?I am still reeling from a series of approximately five days of verbal abuse from my now insignificant other. Whoever said that children bring you closer together, never had children. <span style="font-style: italic;">I jest.</span> A more profound thought came from a child psychologist who was speaking on a TV panel I was on one day,<br />"If there are any cracks in a relationship, children will discover them, and break them wide open".<br />Oh well, apparently our relationship was painted in a crackling medium and has now turned to dust.<br /><br />I'm so emotionally bankrupt at the moment I really don't have the energy to delve further, but I just wanted to write it down. And let you other people who have gone down hill after junior arrived... I'm here with you.<br /><br />I am now a monumental 2 weeks and 2 days late on my assignment (oh yeah did I mention, I'm doing a degree via correspondence), and God if you let me pass this one... I'll be greatful...REALLY GRATEFUL.<br /><br />I could rave on all night here, even with my eyes closed but I really should put head to pillow, and attempt to read another Eckhart Tolle chapter (yeah good luck with that child!).Kryshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15194625139614254945noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7323916881819125101.post-81465417485685237662008-11-03T21:36:00.002+11:002008-11-03T21:55:05.428+11:00From Meltdown to Madness<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjEbABB416HFyFpT8Pw6Xp5870hn-SLQPaZQTEq4hXq-U4PAnL5j6kUqRcOJCPHVRA8G2RvzLHSu8VmdNnZmXuhtM3uPYjQ2_VPsU7lrH1rWeG_PBx4LYKrk9IsBMPesqWu2dNQl5Uhc27X/s1600-h/waverley+fest+08+4.JPG"><img style="margin: 0pt 0pt 10px 10px; float: right; cursor: pointer; width: 240px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjEbABB416HFyFpT8Pw6Xp5870hn-SLQPaZQTEq4hXq-U4PAnL5j6kUqRcOJCPHVRA8G2RvzLHSu8VmdNnZmXuhtM3uPYjQ2_VPsU7lrH1rWeG_PBx4LYKrk9IsBMPesqWu2dNQl5Uhc27X/s320/waverley+fest+08+4.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5264382992848789506" border="0" /></a><br /><br />Well today has been a day like any other. Swimming was cancelled due to the pump in the old pool giving out and making the water unsuitable for swimming. Anyway, I still managed to get the social part the morning completed though. My girlfriend whos daughter does swimming around the same time as mine and I just caught up at a local coffee shop, so that was very sweet.<br /><br />The weather that was previously promised to be raining, turned into a balmy 28 degrees celcius. Beautiful!! I washed and dried a mass of clothes, so should it rain tomorrow as promised I will be the opposite of naked.<br /><br />I've discovered that due to daylight saving and the new foray into a 'real' bed, my daughter gets up an hour or more earlier than she used to (6am) which means that she is failing by 11am, and the only thing she can do is have the meltdown. Which today meant screaming down K-mart after she saw the colouring in books/the elmo doll/the bikes/the clothes/the toilet seat with Dora on it/the chocolates...face it anything really. It's funny though, the amount of disgusted, judgemental and disapproving looks I receive from the older population is amazing. I guess I'm meant to take the child out to the car (which I don't have) and belt the crap out of the two year old who doesn't know where to put all her feelings. Well that was the lessons in parenting 101 that I recall from their generation I received. I'm always amazed, not at mothers my own age who tend to be quite supportive; but the mothers of yesteryear whose patience has wained along with the memory of what it was to have to deal with a toddler 24/7.<br /><br />It's funny, I don't believe that anyone else has to put up with my daughters screaming, but I still have to get from here home, and sorry, but I may have to pick up a loaf of bread before I go, considering I won't get out of the house for the next four or five hours.<br /><br />When you're life is stressful or wearing anyway, it's so lovely just to get that smile and that positive vibe from someone, makes you feel like the whole world is a bit warmer, and that Mariah Carey-esk scream is not quite as loud.Kryshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15194625139614254945noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7323916881819125101.post-77469613709113919802008-10-24T14:58:00.000+11:002008-10-24T15:37:35.261+11:00My Prayer<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://i415.photobucket.com/albums/pp237/wandererwd/Cherub.gif"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 150px; height: 163px;" src="http://i415.photobucket.com/albums/pp237/wandererwd/Cherub.gif" alt="" border="0" /></a><br />Please Lord, prevent me from killing the two year old.<br />Let me remember the good times after two hours of getting her to nap.<br />When she tries to stand on the power point and says "stairs" attemping to jump up and down,<br />let me remember <span style="font-style: italic;">how innocent and sweet she really is</span>.<br /><br />When I'm laying her down and she tries to kick me in the head, let me remember,<br />it's not really intended that way,<br /><span style="font-style: italic;">it's just a simple struggle for autonomy</span>.<br /><br />When I've asked her thirty times to lie down, taken every teddy bear I can, and she is still jumping up and down clapping and singing "happy clap"<br />Let my sanity return and remind me that <span style="font-style: italic;">it's probably not OK for me to sit on her to get to lie still</span>.<br /><br />When I walk inside her room to see every book, toy and belonging taken from its place and strewn across the floor<br />Let me remember s<span style="font-style: italic;">he's probably just expressing her creativity or seeking the attention that I didn't give her for the four minutes I was in the next room.</span><br /><br />And when she finally falls asleep approximately five minutes before she's meant to wake up, and is smiling with the face of intoxicated cherub,<br />let me remember that revenge is not a very motherly desire and besides <span style="font-style: italic;">God will take care of that in time when she has children of her own...</span><br /><br />(c) C. Donoghue 2008Kryshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15194625139614254945noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7323916881819125101.post-91630923786970262742008-10-23T16:29:00.000+11:002008-10-23T17:11:16.555+11:00Too much time on my hands - really<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiOn3dwmpDMrWFOQkvjJ1NrNus7hVLqgTxnwhAdOdwNBAQEV6m9k_fRjiOGUKknxWftxhGz3rDsYkw_svpXmT9xHReXg4So-JzmyTf1OWtm8hS3zUSut0jsEzQ7VmnWtV7v8W6nzXcniaeX/s1600-h/DSC00931.JPG"><img style="margin: 0pt 0pt 10px 10px; float: right; cursor: pointer; width: 240px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiOn3dwmpDMrWFOQkvjJ1NrNus7hVLqgTxnwhAdOdwNBAQEV6m9k_fRjiOGUKknxWftxhGz3rDsYkw_svpXmT9xHReXg4So-JzmyTf1OWtm8hS3zUSut0jsEzQ7VmnWtV7v8W6nzXcniaeX/s320/DSC00931.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5260225701225378914" border="0" /></a><br />Well as I left you at the last juncture (approx 1.5 yrs ago) that may give you an idea of exactly how much time I've had to write, paint, dilly dally and paint my nails. That's right people none, zero and <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">Nada</span>.<br /><br />My little angel face is now twenty seven months<span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1"></span> old (or in layman speak two years & three<span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_2"> months</span>). She is well into the terrible adorable twos. We have falling down tantrums for just about every event of the day, let me explain further.<br /><ol><li>Falling down tantrum one - I have to go to potty and I don't wanna<br /></li><li>Tantrum two - I don't want to pull my pants up</li><li>Tantrum three - Oh you're making my bottle, I want to put the formula in!</li><li>Tantrum four - I don't want Oprah on...I want Elmo (yes Dads, I know you're with her here, but I'm planning a homicide and it involves Dora the Explorer)</li><li>Tantrum five - I want your coffee...</li></ol>6,7,8,....<span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_3">OK</span> now even I'm bored - but you get the <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_4">gist</span> I'm sure.<br /><br />We've make the move to the big bed with relatively little drama. We are still in the process of potty training, but I think it's me not her that is taking so long. Our hair is long enough to wear in cute little puffy piggy tails and we're so cute that everyone just dies.<br /><br />Lot's of drama all the time.<br /><br />Angel face hits and pinches other children, which has become the bane of any time spent socialising. And here's me, who's trying to do all the 'new' parenting stuff i.e. not belting is waiting for the <span style="font-style: italic;"><span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_5">consistency</span></span> approach to work. We have a new litany that we recite when approaching all <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_6">children's</span> social activities <span style="font-style: italic;"><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">"Remember we have to be GENTLE. What does mummy say? No hitting, no pinching, it makes people sad when you hit or pinch, so be GENTLE and NICE"</span></span><br />This mantra seems to work when the mood is right, and then there's that face that holds glimpses of my angel at 13yrs of age, <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_7">sayin</span>' yeah wot-ever!!<br /><br />For the most part though, she can be a delight. Intelligent, brilliant, funny and spirited as none can compare. It is an adventure and we are healthy and therefore blessed.<br /><br />Would love to keep chatting, but my two year old miss thing is stirring from her nap, so I must get ready to start my afternoon shift.<br />See you next lunchtime <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_8">xo</span><span style="font-style: italic;"><span style="font-style: italic;"></span><br /></span>Kryshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15194625139614254945noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7323916881819125101.post-89204214115769879902007-01-21T12:47:00.000+11:002008-10-23T17:05:45.031+11:00Professional First Time Mother...??<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjIiShT_gq4w3yTp0hJzmLiqwJvne5ImMffdlU2OYfrbbKdutFTsolBEyoFFR-WhpGOTrV6nHLkh_8y0jQwsRm_UboPVZtkEUBgGlKdiLIn5vIMt0wGeYLkBuXKlsQV57qxidiaype8zVpO/s1600-h/Kya+Rai+049.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5022300309468081266" style="margin: 0px 10px 10px 0px; float: left;" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjIiShT_gq4w3yTp0hJzmLiqwJvne5ImMffdlU2OYfrbbKdutFTsolBEyoFFR-WhpGOTrV6nHLkh_8y0jQwsRm_UboPVZtkEUBgGlKdiLIn5vIMt0wGeYLkBuXKlsQV57qxidiaype8zVpO/s320/Kya+Rai+049.jpg" border="0" /></a><br /><div>I guess I should have started writing this approximately 6 mths ago (if not earlier) when I gave birth to a little girl... let's call her Cherub (her name will be liquid in this blog be warned). </div><br /><div></div><br /><div>Cherub (who has just woken up and thrown her dummy/pacifier out of her mouth, but is still suspiciously quiet...touch wood) came to this earth through a minor miracle that was 8yrs in coming,,, and I mean that quite literally - 8 yrs of cumming and she only just made an appearance, an inappropriately true fact (I know badd english, pardon moi). </div><br /><div></div><br /><div>She arrived in the natural way, in a beautiful peaceful waterbirth at the local hospitals birthing centre, after a night of squatting, walking and throwing up at home. It was lovely, and I now feel like a whole woman ;-)</div><br /><div></div><br /><div>My partner is an annoyingly attentive person, I mean, someone who is out of town and calls you at 2am in the morning because he wants to talk about our <em>relationship, </em>and then takes issue when you are like "babe, sleep is more important than you right now" (I didn't say that out loud - I hope...) He is MUCH older than me, but he is <em>youthful </em>and that is important. Anyway, long story short, he holds the baby when he's at home and that makes him good for something.</div><br /><div></div><br /><div>Little cherub (who is getting increasingly vocal at this point) is truly beautiful, with hauntingly big brown eyes, who stares the crap out of everyone she sees without blinking (no, she is no akin to Damon). I must admit I get a huge kick out of the fact that all the strangers in the grocery store line who are doing the traditional "ga ga goo goo" which is met with a blank stare, get exceedingly nervous after the 10 second mark when she still hasn't blinked and they just start getting self conscious. </div><br /><div></div><br /><div>Oh well...I can't apologise... small things amuse me now...</div>Kryshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15194625139614254945noreply@blogger.com0